Thursday, December 17


Aww, I missed this. Blogging. This job is all consuming. I come home. Shower. Eat. Sleep. Wake up. Work. Repeat. Ugh yes, I have turned into a boring working woman, thanks for asking. Anyhow besides all that I have this nagging feeling that will NOT go away. I can't shake this feeling that I really, no like REALLY am ready for the dream. I wan't my movie script ending. To meet my soul mate. Fall madly in love. Get married. Move into our dream home. Have 2.5 children. Then of course, live happily ever after. Problem with that, it only happens in fairy tales, not REAL LIFE.

It's tough meeting THE ONE. I honestly don't even know if that sort of thing really exists. In real life you have to kiss a lot of frogs to meet a real prince. They are few and far in between, my friends. That's a lot of time and energy I honestly do not have. I'm not sure I'd have it even if I met my prince (although for HIM, I'd make time). I just feel like I have pretty much everything else I want in life, except well LOVE. Real love, the stuff dreams are made of.

Like India.Arie I AM READY FOR LOVE. "Whoever said love was over rated, must not be getting none. My independent days have had their fun, but when the day is over and the working day is done, I just want to come home to someone." (-Amel Larrieux) Not to mention I keep thinking of this little girl. I literally CANNOT get her off the brain. I even dream of her. This daughter I am supposed/want to have. I'm 24 and my biological clock is already ticking. What the hell?! But I want the dream, I have high expectations, and I refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.

I don't want to be like everyone else my age just having kids for the fcuk of it. Who ever I bare a child for, you better believe I will bare his last name as well. I don't want to be my mother. And struggle as a single mother. I want to do things RIGHT. I want my children to grow up in a loving household with both of their parents. And so I wait, and I pray. I got the idea to make a list of everything I want my HIM to be and put it in my bible and let God find him for me, and that's exactly what I intend to do. I'm still working on the list but so far he is amazing on paper, hope there's someone out there for me who can measure up. Being not only everything I want but everything I need as well.