Saturday, November 1

It Takes Courage...

Please excuse me while I suffer through what I'm pretty sure is an existential crisis. On second thought, maybe not so much. The thing is I know exactly who I am. I am almost absolutely positive that I know what and who I want.

I hate this person I pretend to be. While I try to convince myself that I can continue on living this lie, and eventually wind up happy and content in the long run, somehow I seriously doubt that's the truth. I'm suffocating with fear that I'll be stuck in this same position forever. This cannot be the life that I am meant to live forever. I pray to God that there's more to my life, than this.

I've been going back and forth with this for years now, and I feel like I'm dying here. I have got to get OUT. I am not being dramatic, I can honestly say that this is killing me.

And yet through it all somehow, I still find myself fearing the alternative :[