Cleveland Clinic vol. 2

I don't know how much more of this "not knowing" I can take. It's all I can think about. It's all I want. I just want this job. I'm trying not to worry about it, but I can't help rehashing the whole interview and weekend...over and over again in my mind. Were the smiles and friendliness for real? Did I really do as good as they say I did? Will I get it? When will I know? Is like everyone I know praying in my favor? Will it even matter? The questions and my anxiety are endless.

I don't know for sure either way, but in my head they haven't called back yet so therefore I didn't get it, and I'm already starting to get depressed, and in other words driving myself crazy. I know if it's meant for me I will have it. But that doesn't matter, I just really WANT to have this job. To know, and to be happy, and to be done with the whole damn thing. I don't know how much longer I can go on obsessing and not knowing. It's exhausting. Ugh, I'm going to go try and watch a movie and hope that helps take my mind off it. If not maybe my first day of clinical with "the troll" will. Duces.